i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
