I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
