so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
