You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
