I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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