Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
