He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
