i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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