I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
