idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
