Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
