Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
and she was petting her beer can
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
