and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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