Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
