Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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