he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
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fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize