Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize