I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
