Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
