I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
