sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
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There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
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I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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