She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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