She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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