I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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