Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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