I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
