You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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