So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I have tasted many bathrooms
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
