Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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