I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
