And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
