how can u be prego again
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
