We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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