You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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