I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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