You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
When did we convert life to cartoon?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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