lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
