dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I believe in your delicious
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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