well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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