I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Randomize
