I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
