My first STD was from a foam party
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
vagina is talking i cant
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
