guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
