his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
