i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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