I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
