i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
