i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
