omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
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