Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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