What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
