I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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