I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
