i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
We got so high we made milksteak
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
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