I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
