So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
