Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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