she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize