she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
