I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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