um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
