party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
