How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
If that was your dad, he is hot
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Randomize
