Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize