Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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