Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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